I just wanted to say that I'm grateful, but it's not over yet.
Love has nothing to do with what you are
expecting to get -- only with what you are
expecting to give, which is everything.
Katherine Hepburn
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Deep thoughts, courtesy of the Beach...
I am an adventurer.
Can't be denied, can't be ignored. I am who I am and you can't change me, no matter how hard you try. I need to get out, see the world, see what's happening outside of my true comfort zone. Home will always be home, and it will always be a place to settle in the future, but for now... I need to travel.
This makes me sound angry, perhaps at someone or something in particular. But the truth is, I'm not angry. I'm disappointed -- in myself. Lack of money, lack of motivation... I'm missing a sense of purpose, I don't have a goal to work toward at the moment. It's frustrating, and I feel like escaping. I need a change of scenery. And I thought this nice vacation to the beach in Florida would help, but I'm struggling. Struggling to keep my head above water, financially, emotionally. Struggling to keep my chin up about the "future". Ugh, the "future". What a big gloomy thing that hovers over me now. I need to end this cycle! I need a reason to get up in the morning!
Truth be told, volunteering at the Library has been one of the greatest things I've done since finishing up school. Better than GoAbroad, better than traveling for work (almost), better than simply dreaming of something exciting to do. But the key word here is "volunteering"...if theywould could only pay me. That would be nice. Better than nice; that would be excellent, essentially a dream come true at this point. I've definitely been considering some sort of Master's degree in Library sciences since I've been working there, and it looks a lot more exciting than I could have ever imagined. Plus, as a student in that field, I'd be qualified to become an intern at National Geographic (minus the fact that it's intensely competitive). New life dream?
Perhaps its just time to turn my feet down a new path, write a new chapter in my book of goals (ones that can be achieved sooner rather than later) and begin to get excited about my life, the "future", again.
Consider it done.
-- J
Can't be denied, can't be ignored. I am who I am and you can't change me, no matter how hard you try. I need to get out, see the world, see what's happening outside of my true comfort zone. Home will always be home, and it will always be a place to settle in the future, but for now... I need to travel.
This makes me sound angry, perhaps at someone or something in particular. But the truth is, I'm not angry. I'm disappointed -- in myself. Lack of money, lack of motivation... I'm missing a sense of purpose, I don't have a goal to work toward at the moment. It's frustrating, and I feel like escaping. I need a change of scenery. And I thought this nice vacation to the beach in Florida would help, but I'm struggling. Struggling to keep my head above water, financially, emotionally. Struggling to keep my chin up about the "future". Ugh, the "future". What a big gloomy thing that hovers over me now. I need to end this cycle! I need a reason to get up in the morning!
Truth be told, volunteering at the Library has been one of the greatest things I've done since finishing up school. Better than GoAbroad, better than traveling for work (almost), better than simply dreaming of something exciting to do. But the key word here is "volunteering"...if they
Perhaps its just time to turn my feet down a new path, write a new chapter in my book of goals (ones that can be achieved sooner rather than later) and begin to get excited about my life, the "future", again.
Consider it done.
-- J
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